


RIDDLE ME THIS

by team_sc00t



Category: Naruto, inosaku - Fandom, sasunaru - Fandom
Genre: Brainwashing, Multi, i will not be writing anything graphic, no happy ending, non-con tag is just a warning!, um bad stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-12-10 01:19:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11681025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/team_sc00t/pseuds/team_sc00t
Summary: Naruto can't forget Sasuke.Sasuke won't let him.





	1. house of memories

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i do not own naruto! this is written for entertainment purposes only.

To her credit, Sakura hadn't started crying.

  
She simply stared listlessly at Naruto's usually sunny face, now slack in his state of unconsciousness. The silence stretched out, taut and unfamiliar. Kakashi didn't know what to say, didn't want to make the situation worse, so he remained seated opposite to the two and just watched. Sakura's bright eyes were dull and unseeing even as she watched her friend intensely for any sign of movement, one hand on his chest and the other supporting his head. Kakashi could imagine the scene playing in her head was similar to his own. Those dark-as-death eyes blinking out like a light. The chuckle that died on his lips as she struck him. The threat, promise of return, whispered in her ear as he fell. The jounin sighed heavily and stood, rolling his stiff shoulders.

  
"Sakura." 

  
She didn't glance up at him, just emitted a sound of recognition. Her gaze was still firmly trained on Naruto's flickering eyelids, searching for comfort in the familiar face.

  
"Sakura, we need to leave. Sai and Kiba have sent warning that his underlings are on our trail."

  
"Alright." Her hands moved to lift Naruto, cradle him closely in an almost child-like fashion. Kakashi might have found it amusing at any other time. "I'll go up ahead and make sure nobody is going to surprise us. The others should meet up with you soon. You're fine to carry him?" She tightened her grip on the unconscious man. "Yes, Kakashi."

  
They travelled in silence. Kakashi remained a few metres in front, scouting for any sign of attack. Sai and Kiba had mobilised the three they'd seen, but the chance more could come was still pressing. Kiba had offered to carry Naruto when they'd all met up, but Sakura refused to let go of him. It was understandable. Sakura had changed a lot in the three years Naruto had been away - she'd put the thought of her old team out of her mind, and sought out Tsunade to become stronger than she could have ever imagined. Combined with her supernatural strength, intelligence, medical ninjutsu, and natural resistance to genjutsu, she had become an incredibly respected and powerful kunoichi in her own right. Her tanned skin now sported scars, marks- proof of her hard work. She and Ino had trained together and worked together and become so close that nobody was remotely surprised when Ino publicly announced to damn near the whole village that they were an item. But she'd never forgotten Sasuke. Or rather, never forgiven. After he'd left all those years ago, Naruto had held her and they sobbed together, lamenting what could have been, what they couldn't be for him. They'd both found a way to recover, finding strength, supporting each other, moving on. Sakura let go of the childish fancy she'd entertained, but she knew it was far more than that for Naruto. He couldn't forget Sasuke.

  
Sasuke wouldn't let him.

\--- 

Only when Naruto was hooked up to machinery and laying peacefully in the hospital did Sakura let herself cry. With her head in her hands, alone, she wept quietly.  
What if they hadn't found the hideout? What if he came back?  
What would Naruto do when he woke up?  
What… What if he tried to go back?  
She bit back a sob. No. He couldn't. She wouldn't let him go back to that place, to that man... If she closed her eyes, she saw Naruto, his eyes dull and his expression blank, kneeling at the feet of that bastard. The gleaming eyes and challenging smirk on his pale face, daring her to try and take Naruto away. His fingers in those sunny locks, patting the other man's head like one would with a dog. And all the while staring her and Kakashi in the face, reading their carefully schooled expressions like open books.

  
"How kind of you to visit, Kakashi. Sakura, dear. Is this a rescue attempt or a suicide mission?"

  
His voice had been lilting, full of a humour that seemed out of place, but his eyes were as cold as ever. That icy glare seemed to cut right through her, and she’d felt cowed until she’d remembered why there were there. For Naruto. To rescue the boy that had become a hero, only to have his life stolen by the devil he wanted to call his best friend.

A voice shocked Sakura out of her reverie, and she jerked up to see Ino racing down the white hallway.

  
“Sakura! I should have been here earlier, I didn’t know- oh, are you alright, sweetheart?”

  
Sakura fell into Ino’s arms, breathing in the soft smell of flowers and cleanness and safety. She could hear her lover fretting and wanted to say she was fine, but it was all she could do to not burst into tears again. Those cold eyes were everywhere, and she started shivering, feeling that awful gaze upon her even when she knew it was impossible. Her ears were still ringing with his cruel laughter, and that last haunting murmur.

“Don’t think you’ve won. I’ll return for him.”

  
\---

  
Naruto woke slowly in the bright white light of the hospital. He blinked and tried to stretch his stiff, sore limbs, but his body felt alien and he couldn’t move properly. His tried to call out, but his mouth was too dry and nothing came out but a pathetic croak. Fear mounting, he began struggling, twisting desperately.

  
“Naruto, you idiot- stop wriggling, you’ll fall! What are you doing?”

  
That voice… Naruto tried to focus his bleary eyes, but he only saw a pink blur. His eyes began aching and he closed them again, willing his mouth to work.

  
“Yer really…” He coughed, his throat protesting at the sudden use. “Really pink…”

  
The person let out a huff, sounding tired. And then all of sudden, he was being embraced, his whole body warming at the gentle touch and his senses flooded with familiarity. The flowery scent, soft hair, hard muscles under scarred skin.

  
“S-Sakura…? Is it- it’s really you?”

  
He didn’t hear an answer, but he felt hot tears on his shoulder and squeezed the girl tighter, revelling in the feeling. All he could remember was feeling cold for the longest time, freezing stone wall and cool, pale hands on his face… The girl stepped away and dragged a hand across her eyes. Naruto focussed and felt his cheeks stretch in a grin. “Sakura.” She smiled in return, albeit tearfully. “Naruto. I’m so glad you’re back.”  
Naruto wanted to answer, but the door slid open with a hiss, revealing an imposing woman. She ran her eyes over Naruto’s bed and the equipment beside him before raising her gaze to look at Sakura, who gave a polite bow and gestured to Naruto.

 

“His memory seems mostly unaffected, Lady Tsunade.”

  
“I should think so. Shizune has been doing some research, and I believe Naruto will make a full recovery.”

  
Naruto jolted as a feeling of familiarity hit him. “Oh! Granny Tsunade, is that right?” The woman’s mouth twisted in a wry smile.

  
“Still disrespectful as ever… I’ll give you granny!” She crossed the room in a few quick strides and raised her hand threateningly, but before Naruto even had a chance to wince or defend himself, she’d instead pulled him into a firm embrace. He could feel her shaky breathes, the tremble in her arms. He leant away to look into her honey-brown eyes and, seeing the tears gathering there, began to suddenly suspect that something was very wrong. People usually weren’t so much sobbing as yelling at him when he woke up in hospitals… and what was that about memory?

  
“Hey, hey, Sakura, d’ya wanna tell me what’s going on? Who’s cuttin’ onions?”

  
Rather than the desired reaction, Sakura’s eyes filled with tears again. She swiped at her eyes and took a deep breath. But before she could say anything, Tsunade held up a manicured hand. “We need to let him rest so his body can recover. We’ll focus on his mental health and patching up memory when I know he isn’t going to pass out on us at any given moment.” Naruto wanted to protest, but he did feel his eyelids getting heavier. “Fine wi’ me…” He murmured, settling into the blankets. He felt Sakura tuck the blankets closer around his chin as he slowly drifted to sleep.

  
Tsunade ran a check over the equipment before motioning for Sakura to follow her out the door. The moment they had stepped out, Sakura embraced Tsunade tightly and let the sobs she hid for Naruto’s sake to shudder her body. The elder simply sighed and held her, murmuring softly until Sakura stepped back with a bowed head. She began to apologise, but Tsunade stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “No need. These past months have been difficult for all of us, but most especially you, Sakura. You have behaved in a commendable way. I have no doubt that if it weren’t for you, we may not have ever seen him again.” Sakura couldn’t bring herself to look Tsunade in the eyes, lest she see that warmth and understanding and start crying again. She straightened her skirt and nodded sharply. “I trust, uh…” The young woman huffed out a sigh and swiped at her eyes, then spoke again. “Kakashi has given you his mission report?” Tsunade’s voice was sombre when she answered. “Yes. But I’m afraid I’ll have to ask one of you, too. Not by today. As soon as you can. Talk to Ino. She’ll help.” They both, without really meaning to, had turned to watch Naruto sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed. Sakura watched his chest rise and fall, reminding herself this is real. This is real and you did it. You brought him back. He’s safe. He is safe.

  
Sakura met Tsunade’s gaze once more and nodded solemnly before turning to leave. She felt the older woman’s gaze on her back, but she didn’t turn back. She could never turn back.


	2. hum hallelujah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo everyone! wow! can i just say, massive massive thank you to anyone reading this! i really hope you enjoy the new chapter. sorry it took so long. thanks again for reading!  
> disclaimer: i do not own naruto! this is written for entertainment purposes only.  
> (also just a warning! this story will contain spoilers. this is set after team taka is formed and before naruto goes to mount myoboku. so there will be spoilers!)

The sun was shining as Sakura made her way to the flower shop. It had been almost a week since they had brought Naruto home, and Sakura had been at the hospital every minute of his recovery. She knew she was neglecting Ino and their other friends, but she almost couldn’t bear to be far from his side. Being in the hospital, sleeping in the hard plastic chairs in her lab coat with the sound of Naruto snoring filling the room, seemed to chase away her nightmares better than Ino’s gentle hold. Tsunade had only managed to get rid of her because they were assessing Naruto’s object permanence, and wanted to see if he could remember her as clearly when she wasn’t in the same room. Sakura thought it was a poor excuse to make her leave, but she begrudgingly accepted. Ino, Hinata, and Tenten had kept her afloat during those hellish months that he’d been away, and she felt she was doing them wrong by ignoring them now. Especially dear Ino, who was willing to give up anything to help Sakura. The memory of those times, despite the sadness and fear that had controlled her during them, brought the smallest of smiles to her face. She felt like she’d never known any of her friends until such a tragedy struck. Losing Naruto had thrown them all together again, and made their bonds even stronger. She couldn’t forget that.

Bells tinkled as Sakura stepped into the Yamanaka flower shop. She heard a thud and Ino’s voice came from the back.

“Hang on, just five secs- I’ll be out in a minute!”

There was another suspicious sounding crash and Sakura shook her head, letting a grin form on her face. After being so serious all week around Tsunade, laughing at Ino’s silliness felt foreign.

“Don’t rush, it’s just me.” She answered, brushing some petals off a stand into her hand. There was a flurry of movement and suddenly Sakura felt the wind knocked out of her, the petals going flying as she was tackled by the blonde hurricane.

“Oh, Sakura! I’ve missed you, sweetie!” Ino squeezed her tightly, planting kisses all over her bright red cheeks. “Even though you’ve been here, I know, but you’ve been at the hospital, and oh, I’ve just missed you.” Sakura giggled and squeezed Ino back before stepping back, intertwining their fingers and keeping her eyes on Ino’s smile and sparkling eyes, trying to drive away the memory of the tubes hanging off Naruto and his gaunt, pale cheeks.

“I missed you too. I was thinking we could go out with the girls?” Ino nodded enthusiastically, her pony-tail swishing wildly with every movement.

“Yeah, of course! I’ll just finish up here, and then we can go grab them.” Her smile dropped without warning, and she furrowed her eyebrows. “Are… you going to tell everyone he’s back yet?” Sakura froze, caught out by the question. Her heart began to sink, but she forced the feeling away. He was their friend too. She couldn’t keep him locked up in the hospital forever, and there was no doubt that he would want to catch up with everyone when he was out. “Sure.” She forced through her suddenly dry mouth. “Yeah, we can invite everyone and I…” She broke off and nodded instead, confused by the apprehension she was feeling. Why shouldn’t she let them all know? Everyone would be terribly concerned to hear how he was doing, she was sure. Especially Hinata, she had been worried sick.

She felt Ino brush her hair back and re-focused on the blonde. Ino smiled gently at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Listen, I’ll clean up here and then I’ll come check on you and see how you feel. You need a nap, and a change of clothes, and a shower!” She pulled Sakura in for another tight hug before spinning her around to face the door. “Go on! Home, nap, shower. You’ll feel better!”

“Thank you…” Sakura murmured over her shoulder, feeling her heart swell with love for the other girl. She clasped the hand on her shoulder gently before exiting the shop, walking once more into the sunny streets. She took the shortcut that took her past the hospital, glancing up at the tall building and it’s endless windows, imagining Naruto and Tsunade in there, the young man stubbornly refusing to be cared for like so many other times. The hospital had become like a second home for him throughout all his misadventures. He somehow had learnt all the tricks to get him past the nurses, and it was well-known amongst staff that when Naruto wanted to get out, there was no stopping him! All the times he had gotten her and Ino into trouble trying to get out earlier…

Sakura shook the memories away and cut through the park, taking the quicker route. The wind had suddenly begun to pick up, sending a shiver down her spine. It felt foreboding, somehow. She hurried to her house and let herself in, shivering at the sudden change.

She called a greeting up the stairs as she wrangled her shoes off. She didn’t hear a response, but the lights were all on and she could smell something cooking. The thought of her parents bickering as they made dinner made her smile and she climbed the stairs two at a time, eager to see them. When she threw open the door and peered around the corner, she wasn’t at all surprised to see her mum and dad standing at the stove, arguing over what to put in the pot next.

‘I’m telling you, it’s onions next. They need more time to release their flavours!”

“It’s definitely the carrots next- they need to soften!”

Sakura laughed and they both turned, their faces quickly changing from exasperated to pleased.

“Sakura! You’re home early!” Mebuki beamed, crossing the kitchen to pull her into a hug. Sakura hugged her back tightly and nodded into her shoulder, feeling her exhaustion come over her like a wave. “Yeah, but I…” She interrupted herself with a huge yawn. “I’m going to have a nap. I’ll be back up for dinner. It smells great!” She grinned at her dad, who was sneaking the carrots in while Mebuki wasn’t looking. He gave her a thumbs up and a smile that resembled her own. For the second time, Sakura thought her heart would burst with love, and she hugged Mebuki again tightly.

“My, you’re happy today! Well, this is lunch, but we’ll save some for you. You must be terribly tired, they’re really overworking you…”

Sakura yawned again in response and made her way to her room, hearing her parents start their disagreement again. She flopped onto her bed the moment she arrived in her room, closed her eyes, and fell asleep almost instantly.

\---

Tsunade threw the clipboard down onto Naruto’s hospital bed with a frustrated sigh. He watched her pace around the room, a petulant expression on his face and his arms crossed.

“Listen, you little brat. You don’t make the decisions around here! I know you’re desperate to see your friends, but you can’t sabotage your own health by leaving early!”

Naruto rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed huff.

“I’m tellin’ ya, Granny, I feel fine. I don’t even get it, what’s wrong with me? I don’t feel sore at all. What’s goin’ on?” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously when Tsunade froze at his question and glowered at him. “Yer makin’ me think something really bad happened! Why can’t I go yet?”

They stared at each other for a moment, Naruto’s stubborn blues glaring into Tsunade’s equally stubborn hazel gaze. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for the kid. He should know, but Sakura would want to be there when he found out… Tsunade sighed heavily and broke the stare, sitting with a thump in the chair at the foot of Naruto’s bed.

“Listen, kid. It’s not up to me when you leave, alright? Sakura’s in charge there. I’m just doing tests and pulling strings. It’s about time I handed you over to someone else, you’ve given me enough grey hairs.” Naruto smirked at the comment and looked like he meant to speak, but Tsunade continued. “But, I don’t think you should be cooped up for too much longer. Your tests are all relatively positive. Cognitive functioning fine, no damage to any major brain areas or systems.” She could see her speech was starting to go in one ear and out the other. Stupid kid. “So I’ll talk to Sakura, and see what I can arrange.”

Naruto perked up almost instantly. “Really? Thanks, Granny Tsunade, you’re the best!” Tsunade smiled wryly and retrieved her clipboard, ruffling Naruto’s hair as she went to the door.

“Just behave yourself for now. And get some rest. Tomorrow could be a big day.”

“Yes sir!” Naruto called out as she left. He watched the door until he was sure she was gone to reach into the secret pouch in his pocket and pull out the tiny, crumpled note. It was written in small, neat writing, and had been puzzling him for the past week. He’d found it tucked into his waistband when he’d woken up for the second time, and he’d been amusing himself trying to interpret it since.

**Naruto.**

**You won’t remember anything when you awaken. I’ll return for you. You’d best be prepared. -S**

The language was so stiff and stuck-up, he couldn’t think of anyone but Neji or even Sasuke writing it. That didn’t make sense, though, and ‘S’ could mean Sasuke or Sakura or even someone completely different! He racked his brains for an answer, but he just couldn't figure it out. It was a real mystery. He tucked it away again and settled down into the blankets, musing over the note until he eventually felt sleep take him.

\---

It was pitch black, and cold as ice on her bare skin. She hadn’t put on her Konoha jacket when she’d left for the mission, and all her weapons were back in the village. But she had come so far now, she wouldn’t be deterred by that.

She had been walking for what felt like an age. Walking in the darkness with no sound but her own footsteps, painfully loud in the silence. Walking in the freezing cold with only a skirt and blouse to cover her. Walking with no plan, with no idea of where she was going, spurred on only by the knowledge that Naruto was somewhere in that darkness.

The wind began to blow harder and harder, almost like it was trying to push her back. She felt it cutting at her skin and whipping her hair around her face wildly, and heard the echoes of a maniacal laugh in her ears. And she looked up, and there were eyes everywhere, watching her every move, laughing at her, laughing at her failure, laughing at her weakness, laughing, laughing, laughing.

She whirled around at a thud behind her and she saw Naruto, kneeling, his face scrunched in pain, blood running in rivulets from his nose and mouth to stain his neck and bare torso red. She gasped his name, and started running towards him, but with every step, Naruto seemed to get further away, and eventually she couldn’t see him anymore. All she could hear was his quiet, raggedy sobs, and her own heavy breathing. She took a step towards the sound and landed on nothing, and before she could stop herself, she was tumbling forward into the darkness, that cold wind cutting her skin and those sobs deafening in her ears. That cold gaze watching her and that man, that demon, laughing and laughing with his dying breath.

\---

Sakura woke up in her room, her heart thudding and a sheen of sweat covering her skin. She threw the blankets off and swung her legs off the bed, pausing to let her head stop spinning before standing. She made her way to the bathroom and flicked on the lights, waited for her vision to clear, and went to the sink. Her eyes flicked up to the mirror and she froze, taken back by her reflection.

Her face was pale and shadowy, worn thin by the stress of the past few months. Her lips were chapped and her hair hung about her face in lank strings. The vibrant green of her eyes seemed too bright against her ashen skin. She felt like they too should be muted, the colourful iris dulled by what she had seen. Sakura sighed and looked away, running the tap and splashing her face. She scrubbed at her skin and tried to force the memories out of her mind. Ever since that day, she had been plagued by nightmares forcing her to relive what had happened. She witnessed, over and over again, her hands stained with corrupt blood as his body fell. Her desperate, furious face reflected in his black eyes as she murdered him to save her friend. Ino’s horror when she found out what Sakura had done. Naruto’s slack face and faint pulse. The restrained fear on her friends faces, when they knew what she could do. What she would do again in a heartbeat.

A noise at the door startled Sakura and she spun around, instantly in a defensive position. Mebuki stood there, her eyes wide and hand outstretched. “Sakura? Sweetheart, are you alright?” Sakura let out the tense breath she had been holding and leant against the sink, bracing herself. She felt unsteady. The room was spinning. Her mother was speaking, but her ears were roaring and she couldn’t hear anything but a mumble. She sunk to the floor and buried her head in her hands, finding her face slick with tears. She felt hands on her shoulders, warm and gentle, instead of the cold grip on her neck that haunted her memory. Sakura focused on those hands and her mother’s worried voice, driving out the memory of the blood and the fear. She rubbed her eyes and lifted her head, meeting her mother’s eyes.

“Sakura? Talk to me, tell me you’re alright!” Sakura nodded numbly, unable to speak. She grasped at Mebuki’s hands and held them, trying to ground herself.

“What on earth happened? Are you hurt?” Sakura shook her head. Her head had started to clear and she could see clearly again. She wiped her tears and focused on Mebuki’s face.

“No- no, I’m fine. Sorry. I’m sorry, I- I had a nightmare.”

“Oh, darling... My poor little girl. They shouldn’t have sent you to do such a thing.” Mebuki pulled Sakura into a hug, stroking her hair comfortingly as she began to shake with tears again. She couldn’t fight them anymore. She had spent so long telling herself that she couldn’t weep for what she had done, that she couldn’t show any weakness in the aftermath. She had volunteered to do it. She had trained and fought for the right to bring her best friend home. She had challenged anyone who dared to say that she shouldn’t have gone. But with the echo of his mocking laugh in her ears and the memory of that tainted blood on her hands making her gasp and shudder with fear, she wondered if maybe they were right.

\---

Shizune peered around the door to see Tsunade asleep at her desk, a half-full bottle of sake in front of her and papers scattered on the floor. She shook her head with a bemused sigh and entered, hiding the sake before knocking smartly on the table.

“Miss Tsunade? Sakura is here to see you.”

Tsunade’s hand shot out and closed around Shizune’s wrist before the younger woman could even blink. A bloodshot eyeball cracked open and swivelled around to fix on Shizune, staring for a moment before the hand relaxed and she was released. She laughed nervously and rubbed at the newly red mark, stepping out of reach before continuing.

“I’ve just got her out in the corridor,”

“Who?”

“Sakura, ma’am.”

“Why?”

“I believe she would like to talk to you.”

There was silence for a moment before Tsunade raised her head, blinking blearily. “Sakura? Alright, let ‘er in…” She grumbled, glaring at the papers on her desk before sweeping them to the side. “Lessee what trouble she can stir up for me.”

Shizune winced at the very obvious drunken slur in the Hokage’s voice. Her drinking problem had worsened after the death of Jiraiya, and Shizune had learnt to just hide the alcohol and help Tsunade as much as she could. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain Tsunade was trying to numb, and she certainly wasn’t going to try and tell the woman what to do. The last person to do that… Shizune shivered at the memory and turned to the door, only to see that Sakura was already standing there.

“Oh! My apologies, Sakura, I was just coming to let you in.”

“No worries.” Sakura smiled, shutting the door softly. She gave a small, polite bow before stepping up to the desk and presenting a neat stack of papers. “My mission report.” Shizune couldn’t help but notice that the young medic looked extremely exhausted, with dark bags under her eyes and her skin pasty. She was lacking the youthful and cheery air she usually possessed, instead seeming serious and oddly restrained. It was a harrowing thing that she’d been put through. It was no wonder the poor girl wasn’t sleeping, with her best friend in hospital and- Tsunade cleared her throat sharply and Shizune jumped, feeling suddenly guilty that she’d been musing over the girl’s health instead of doing something about it.

“Erm, would you like some tea, ma’am? Sakura? I’ll make some tea.” Feeling slightly flustered, she left the two and headed for the small kitchen down the corridor.

\---

“You look awful. Take a seat.”

Sakura smiled wryly. “Subtlety isn’t one of your strengths, Lady Tsunade.”

Tsunade gestured to the seat, her expression mimicking Sakura’s. “I don’t need to be subtle with you, Sakura. Now sit down.” Sakura sat. Shizune snuck back in and placed steaming cups of tea in front of the two other women before taking a seat herself, her hands wrapped around a cup and concern on her pretty face. Sakura smiled in thanks before picking up her own cup to cradle in her freezing hands. Despite the recent sunny weather, she’d been feeling oddly cold for weeks. It seemed like there was a chill that had seeped into her bones and wouldn’t leave no matter what she did.

Tsunade sipped her tea, surveying Sakura with an intense gaze until the younger girl began to fidget under the scrutiny. “Lady Tsunade, was there something you needed? I wanted to see Naruto before I let the…” She paused, and her eyes dropped to the floor. “Before I let the village know.”

Tsunade smirked. “It’s a challenge, isn’t it?” She set her cup down with a sigh. “Naruto is the hardest kid to keep in a hospital bed that I’ve ever met. He’s desperate to leave. If we don’t discharge him soon, you know what he’ll do.” Sakura smiled into her tea, but she still wouldn’t meet Tsunade’s eyes. “You want to protect him. I know the feeling. But Naruto is strong, and these people are his friends. They won’t hurt him. Don’t think about Sasuke. I don’t think Naruto even remembers him- he hasn’t mentioned the boy at all! Very uncharacteristic of him.” She’d hoped to get a laugh out of the girl, but Sakura remained solemn, her only movement to lean forward and place her cup on the table. Tsunade sighed deeply and finished her drink. If that wouldn’t get through to her…

“Sakura,” Shizune spoke in the following quiet, her voice coloured with worry. “You need to take care of yourself. I think Naruto is ready to leave the hospital-” Tsunade shot Shizune a pointed look and she quickly realised her mistake. “Of course it’s- it’s entirely up to you! But… I think you need to take some time to look after yourself. Go and talk to him, see if you think he’s ready. But you deserve a break, Sakura- we couldn’t have saved him without you. You’ve done so much.”

Silence followed Shizune’s speech and she flushed bright red, worried she’d said too much and Sakura would hate her and Tsunade would be disappointed- but Sakura cracked her knuckles and nodded, sending a sweet smile to Shizune.

“You know what, I think you’re right. I’ve been so worried about him, I forgot about myself. I’ll visit him now. And after that,” She stood and stretched, grinning. “I’m gonna have an hour long shower, and go out with the girls!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ya made it this far, bless you and thank you. also i just want to say a couple of things- uhh 1, i am not japanese. my knowledge of japan comes from anime and a one-month trip i took back in 2015. so if this story is seeming less normal konoha and more konoha but down unda, yeah. that's uh. my bad. i am trying. eeeeek!  
> 2, just want to reiterate- there will not be anything graphic in this story. the rating and the warning is just in case. so yeah! anyways thanks sooo so much for reading and have a great day or night :)


	3. champion

“Do you think they’re still coming?”

Tenten looked up from the menu to Hinata’s worried face. It took her a moment to realise what the other girl was talking about.

“Oh! Yeah, of course. Ino wouldn’t cancel on us.” She returned to the menu, perusing all the different items. The beef noodles looked really good, but she hadn’t brought that much money… Maybe she could get Ino to shout her? It looked really, really good… Hinata cleared her throat delicately and Tenten looked up again.

“What do you think?”

“About what?”

Hinata sniffed and put her menu down in a way that may have counted as angrily for her, but was still as calm and gentle as ever. “You’re as bad as Kiba! I asked if you think Sakura will come. She’s been so withdrawn lately. I wonder if it has to do with that last mission she went on.” Tenten hummed in agreement, her eyes wandering back to the beef noodles, and Hinata sighed, resigning herself to watching the door for Ino and Sakura. Sakura really had been acting strangely lately. She’d been sent on a mission of utmost importance (she knew that it had been violent, but really, weren’t all missions?) and ever since returning, it was like she was a different person. She didn’t want to go out anymore, she wasn’t as happy as she used to be, and she hung out at the hospital nearly all the time. Hinata worried about her, but she didn’t know what to do. Sakura was so strong and independent, maybe she wouldn’t even want her help. Maybe she just didn’t want to be friends anymore- maybe she was ignoring them on purpose- maybe she-

“You’re overthinking again!” Tenten chided, waving the menu around. “Just chill out. I think they’re gonna walk through that door in three, two, one!” She blinked. Hinata giggled. There was no sight of them. She noticed Hinata’s teasing laughter and shook the menu at her. “Alright, alright! Do over. Three, two-”

The door was flung open and Ino marched in, pulling Sakura along, with a bright smile on her face. She found their table and almost dragged Sakura over, grinning all the while.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” She cheered, and plonked herself down next to Tenten. Sakura sat more delicately, and greeted Hinata with a warm smile. Tenten busied herself immediately with distributing water and menus, feeling quite awkward all of a sudden. They hadn’t seen Sakura- not properly, not like this- for a while, but she hadn’t imagined she’d have nothing to say when they did see her. She felt eyes on her and she looked up, narrowing her eyes at the offender.

“What?” She snapped, and Ino laughed.

“Oh, nothing! It’s just you- when did you get so polite?”

Tenten glared for a moment, then looked away, slightly embarrassed. “Pssh. Whatever, let’s order, I’m starving!”

Ino muttered a comment about Tenten’s manners that she opted to ignore, and they all picked up their menus. Tenten, of course, had already chosen, and sat there impatiently, staring at Sakura and quickly looking away when she returned the gaze. She’d always felt like she had much more in common with tough as guts Sakura over Ino and Hinata, who were just a little too girly and delicate. Sakura could always take a joke, and you didn’t have to dance around it if you had to say something to her, but now Tenten felt like she was doing the freaking waltz. When had she become so awkward?!

Ino suddenly shot up, snatching up the menus. “Okay, I’ll order! Play nice, kiddies!” Tenten scowled at Ino’s retreating back, then jumped as Sakura spoke, her voice weirdly unfamiliar.

“Ino’s just teasing. How ‘ve you been, Tenten?” 

Tenten couldn’t look her in the eye, and opted to fiddle with her napkin instead. “Yep. Good.” _Damn it, Tenten, act like a normal person!_ But she couldn’t bring herself to speak. She just let the silence stretch and stretch until eventually Hinata commented on the flower display in that soft, all-too-forgiving voice, and Sakura took up an uneasy conversation about peonies. Tenten excused herself and dashed to the bathroom, furious at herself, Sakura, Ino, and damn near the rest of Konoha too.

\---

“That wasn’t too bad, huh? Apart from when Tenten made you pay for her dinner.”

“She didn’t make me. I offered. Did she seem- did you noti- does she…” Sakura trailed off and sighed, rubbing her arms despite the warm evening air. Ino peered at her expectantly, waiting for the rest of the sentence, but Sakura shook her head. “Don’t worry.”

Ino grabbed her hand and pulled her in, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Listen, sweetie, Tenten didn’t mean it. You know what she’s like- she doesn’t understand emotions! She’s just being awkward. It’s not you!” Sakura leaned into Ino, marvelling at how warm the other girl seemed. _Is it just me that feels cold? It’s still summer, too…_ “She barely spoke the whole time. Do you think…” She stopped without meaning to, staring at a crack in the pavement, lost in thought. “It has to be something to do with the mission… Shit…” She turned to Ino, desperation creeping into her voice. “Do they know that I- oh, god.” She closed her eyes and tried to force back the memories that had resurfaced, and after a moment, reopened them to find Ino watching her, concern creasing her pretty face. She blinked away the tears, and forced a shaky smile. “I’m okay.”

Ino tutted and took Sakura’s hand again. “Sakura, baby- listen to me. Only three of us know the details of that mission. They don’t know about it. And they would understand, anyway! Any of us would have done the same for Naruto...” Far from the desired effect, the words sent a chill through Sakura’s body, and she pulled away, staggering backwards. “No.” She overbalanced and fell backwards, landing hard on the ground, but she took no notice. “No, no, no.” She muttered, shaking her head and drawing her knees in, images of Naruto and Sasuke filling her head- there was so much blood- it was on her hands- it was everywhere- it was choking her-

“Sakura!” Ino was on her knees in a second, reaching out to the other girl. Sakura raised her head and stared straight at her, those luminous eyes full of a furious clarity. “No.” She spat. “Nobody else would have done it. They left him for dead- they didn’t care- nobody cared! I had to go! I had to save him! I killed Sasuke- I KILLED HIM!” She clutched at her face, shuddering, trying not to see it- but his laughter was everywhere, and his eyes were everywhere, and there was so much blood- she was drowning- and he was laughing, laughing, laughing. “I… I…” She had dissolved into sobs now, and she reached for Ino, whimpering. Ino pushed her hair back, shocked and completely at lost as to how to help her. Sakura suddenly threw herself to the side and retched, her sobs strangled. Ino steadied her, and narrowed her eyes in determination, suddenly realising what she could do.

“Mind transfer jutsu!”

\---

The room was dim and smelt familiar. She felt blissfully calm, and stretched slowly before opening her eyes, only to jump as she found Ino’s face centimetres from her own.

“Ah! Ino- what happened? Why am I at your house?” 

She could remember going to dinner, and Tenten’s awkward behaviour, and walking home with Ino, and… nothing. That was it. Then how had she ended up at Ino’s?

Ino sighed and sat down, dragging her chair forward. She flicked her mane of hair out of the way before fixing Sakura with a stern gaze.

“We were walking home and you had a panic attack. You full on freaked out. You were crying and almost threw up and I- I didn’t know what to do, so I- don’t be mad!” She bit her lip. “I used mind transfer jutsu! I know you don’t like it when I use it on you, but I didn’t know what to do! You were really scaring me!” She was wringing her ponytail now, and wouldn’t look Sakura in the eye, red with embarrassment. Sakura sighed softly and reached out, taking one of Ino’s hands and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m not mad, honey. Did I lose consciousness after that?”

Ino smiled brightly once she realised she wasn’t in trouble, and nodded. “I think so. I was forced back into my own head, and you were out cold, so I just brought you home. I didn’t wanna scare your parents. Oh, and they know you’re here, too!” She patted Sakura’s hand, and looked down at it, surprised. “Your hands are super cold, you know? Anyway, I think you should go see Tsunade. Are your… Your nightmares any better?” Sakura shook her head, and blinked away the tears that had suddenly formed. “No, I… Maybe you’re right. I’ll go and see Tsunade again- it’s just,” She exhaled angrily and rubbed at her eyes. “I wanted to be… unbreakable. I knew it would be difficult, but I wanted to be the one to do it. I promised myself I would just deal with whatever happened and now- now I just feel so weak.” The tears were flowing freely now, and Sakura growled, swiping them away. She was so sick of the constant crying, the constant nightmares, the constant reminder that she couldn’t do anything right.

Ino sprung up onto the bed and pulled Sakura into a tight hug, letting her hide her face in the mass of golden hair until she’d composed herself. She cupped Sakura’s face and looked into her eyes sternly, holding her teary gaze. “You are strong. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You did what nobody else had the courage to do! You’ve done something amazing, and you can’t blame yourself for feeling like this- nobody could just shrug off a mission like that. Now,” She kissed Sakura’s forehead before sliding off the bed. “I am going to make us breakfast, or make Daddy make it. You are going to shower, and then we’ll go talk to Tsunade.” Sakura nodded, managing a smile and a mock salute. “Yes ma’am!”

Ino giggled and made to leave, pausing just outside the door when she heard Sakura speak softly.

“Ino? I think… I think we should tell the village today.”

Ino smiled softly, feeling her heart pang for the other girl.

“Sure.”

\---

_‘Naruto! Naruto!’_

“Whaaat?!” Naruto growled, face-down on his pillow. He’d been tossing and turning all night, plagued by some stupid dream. He could remember funny looking eyes, and being really badly hurt… a sharp pang in his stomach coincided with the door being flung open, and Shizune raced in as he sat up clutching his stomach.

“Are you alright?” She gasped, setting a tray of food down on a small table and wheeling it over to him. She quickly checked his temperature with her hand, but found it regular. Naruto waved her hand away. “Fine, fine. Just hunger pains! Man, I’m starving…” He eyed the tray of food and grinned at Shizune, who smiled indulgently and passed it to him. She ran her eyes over his room as he tucked in, making sure there was nothing out of place. Tsunade liked to just toss things away when she wasn’t using them, but Shizune liked the rooms to be nice and neat, and every so often she’d just duck in and tidy up the patient’s rooms. The cleaners never seemed to do the best job… She should really get a pay rise, considering she was basically doing two jobs… She snapped back to attention when she realised Naruto was asking her something through a mouthful of eggs.

“Sorry, Naruto, what was that? I zoned out, haha…”

“What was wif aw de shottin’?”

She blinked at him for a moment, completely unsure of what he’d just said. She was about to ask him to repeat himself, when the door swung open again and Sakura strode in, decked in her white coat and looking almost like her old self, save for the shadows in her eyes. She nodded at Shizune before turning her attention to Naruto, who swallowed his eggs loudly and grinned at her.

“Morning, Sakura! You’re lookin’ great, for a doctor.”

Sakura smiled and sat on the end of the bed, swatting at his arm gently. “What’s that supposed to mean, hm? Don’t let Tsunade hear you say that!” She glanced out the window and frowned briefly, but plastered on a smile when she faced Naruto again. “Now, hurry up and finish that. You’re allowed to have visitors, and everyone’s just desperate to see you. I’ve warned them you stink, but they-”

She was cut off by Naruto lunging forward and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into the tightest hug she’d ever felt. His plate slid off the bed and Shizune dived to the ground, saving it moments before it smashed on the floor. “Naruto!” She admonished softly, but was completely ignored in favour of crying into Sakura’s hair. She couldn’t help but smile at the scene, and politely excused herself, figuring Sakura probably wanted to brief him in private before his friends took over the hospitable.

After Shizune had snuck out, Sakura pushed Naruto off, laughing at his reaction. “Come on, come on! I get it, you’re happy.” She ruffled his hair as he sat back, still grinning like a madman. “Alright. So, I told everyone they can come in at 10:00, but not to pester you too much, as you’re still recovering.” He cheered and fist-bumped the air. “Thanks, Sakura! You’re the best!”

She smiled and stood, checking the clock. “I’m glad you think so. You’ve got half an hour, so brace yourself. I’ll come check on you later.” With that she made her way to the door, pleased that she had made the right decision.

“Sakura?”

She turned, her hand still on the doorknob, to see Naruto beaming at her, his grin as bright and warm as the sun itself.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

\---

Naruto’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He’d amassed a collection of chocolates, cards, and teddies, and he couldn’t even count how many hugs he’d gotten since 10:00. Even Kiba had abandoned his manliness and burst into tears at the sight of him, which wasn’t half as weird as the roses Neji brought him. He’d seen all his friends, schoolmates, and teachers. Iruka and Kakashi had promised to bring him ramen later, and Hinata had even offered to give him a massage (for his stiff joints, as she had squeaked when Tenten teased her about it), which Naruto was especially keen for, though he wouldn’t tell Kiba that. If it weren’t for him being in a hospitable bed, and a certain someone missing, it would have been a perfect day. Times like this really made him realise how much had changed since his childhood- look at him, surrounded by flowers and friends who cared about him! He just wished Sasuke had come…

As the day wore on, and people had things to do, the crowd in his room started to thin. By about 2:00, he was left with Iruka, Kakashi, Ino, and Kiba, who was ‘helping’ Naruto out with a box of chocolates. Naruto was full of ramen, anyway, and perfectly happy to let him scoff them. He smiled up at Ino when he noticed her coming over to him, and hurried to clear a spot on the bed.

“What a gentleman!” She grinned as she sat. “Are you excited to get out tomorrow? I’m amazed you haven’t escaped yet!” He pouted. “I did try- went for the window, but the old hag caught me.” Ino giggled and smoothed out a crinkle in the sheets, smiling bashfully at the bed. “So, um, did Sakura tell you anything exciting?” Naruto thought for a moment, then shook his head, blinking innocently. “Nope, nothin’ at all. Why, did something happen?” Kiba laughed and dragged his chair a bit closer, sending Ino a sly grin. “More like someone. A certain blonde someone.” He licked chocolate off his finger and winked at the blonde in question, waiting for the ball to drop. Naruto looked between him and Ino, raising an eyebrow and smiling cluelessly.

“They might need an adult.” Iruka murmured, nudging Kakashi with his shoulder. The jounin nodded and strolled over, and clapped Kiba on the shoulder, his eyes creasing with a smirk. “Now, now, kids. Don’t make him think too hard. Naruto- Ino and Sakura are an item.” Ino blushed heavily, watching Naruto for his reaction. Kiba was still too amazed at Naruto’s stupidity to talk. Kakashi smiled behind his mask, preparing himself for the coming explosion as Naruto’s mouth dropped open.

“NO WAY!”

\---

The sun was up at the crack of dawn, along with Naruto, who was showered, dressed and packed two hours before Sakura had even arrived at the hospitable. She slid open his door to find him doing tai-chi in the weak sunlight that streamed through the window, and she laughed until she cried when he put his foot in the wrong place and tumbled down, arms swinging wildly all the way. She felt unexpectedly light. Tsunade had given her some sort of miracle tea that knocked her right out, so she’d slept properly for the first time since Naruto had come home. Kakashi had given her an extremely awkward hug, but it had helped in a way, if only in that she didn’t feel so alone anymore. She felt okay- good, even. It was an alien feeling.

“Come on, Sakura, time to stop daydreamin’! Can ya get my teddies- I can’t carry ‘em- and the choccies, if Kiba left any!”

Sakura followed him out as he skipped down the steps and through the front doors, waving cheerily to the nurses and yelling out to Tsunade as he went. The moment he’d stepped outside, he dropped his suitcase and sprinted out into the small front garden area, cartwheeling on the grass until he fell over. He lay there, panting, laughing breathlessly, and Sakura couldn’t help but feel proud, that she was the reason he was laying there today instead of in a cold dark dungeon. He was so carefree, despite all his hardships, and Sakura was partly responsible for that. She was allowed to feel good.

Naruto stretched his hand out to her and, feeling giddy with the promise of a panic free day, Sakura placed the teddies on the suitcase and flopped down on the grass next to him. Naruto grinned at her, then up the sky, closing his eyes in bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whooooo boy, this was a hard chapter. i'm on holidays now so i thought i could write more, but i've had writer's block for the past few days! anyway, i hope you enjoyed the chapter! next one might take a while, but it's coming. thanks for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello thanks a whole bunch for reading!! just to clear things up- this is not going to be a graphic depiction of anything non-consensual. the tag is just a warning. i won't be writing anything graphic. also, sorry about the format... next chap will be nicer looking lol. again, thanks a lot for reading! i really appreciate it. i'll update when i can, hope you enjoyed.


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